Manifesting with The Secret: An attempt

I fell in love with this book. Early in what I call my entrapment, I started to read this book. At the time, I wanted to manifest more money so I can pay off these people and live my life. In secret, I also wanted to manifest love. Little did I know, my mind was not in a manifesting place.

It was in a place of desperation and fear. I was desperate for a solution.

Every time, I saw triple 6, I got a call to go over “my friend’s” place. That meant more talking and more trapping me mentally. Usually, it was after work. Spiritually, triple 6 means out of balance. In my mind, I was thinking more evil is about to happen. I would shiver in fear when I saw triple 6. I still tried manifesting anyway. One day, I broke down in my room. Just thinking, this must be all funny to them. I broke down so hard because I truly believed I was trapped and had no way out. I had no choice but to work two jobs, stay up entertaining them and then eating and sleeping so, I had energy to continue this game of entrapment.

I prayed hard. I prayed in fear so, naturally my prayers were ignored. It was heard though. I had signs I was heard by the spirits.

At the time, I lived near these people and, one day walking to my little room I rented in an apartment, I was heading past a small academy which I never noticed before with the name St. Francis of Assisi. I found a coin right on that block. I started seeing more coins after I saw this.

In Christian history, St. Francis of Assisi was a medieval saint who gave up his wealth for Christianity.

Sometime later, on the same block somewhere, I found a single card from a deck of cards. It was an an 8 of diamonds facing upward on the ground. I was the only one on that block and I looked it up. I know, I read into any message I can get. Sometimes, I sense some clues are messages are for me. Just an intuition thing. I googled 8 of diamonds.

What came out in the google search was also the tarot card, the 8 of swords. I don’t know why but, I looked up the 8 of swords instead. In the traditional tarot deck, it is a women tied up and blindfolded to a wall of swords. The meaning of the card is about believing there is no way out of a situation. It is a limited belief in one’s life. However, if you look closer, there is a way out but, the women in the card can’t see it.

I was baffled by this card. It is straight forward what it means but, all I was thinking was how the hell do I get out of this and have them leave me alone?

I also started seeing feathers.

Instead of manifesting love and money, I was seeing these signs instead. It is a sign the Universe heard me.

I tried manifesting. I lit candles in the “love” corner of my room but, nothing happened.

I followed the advise of the book, The Secret and wrote a check to myself for a million dollars which never happened. In fact, I lost my wallet at work one day and my manager returned it to me. I’m sure she found my check when she looked for ID in my wallet.

So, I stopped doing it these manifesting rituals.

I wasn’t surprised nothing happened because at the time my limited belief was, “I am unlucky”.

I did like seeing these signs though. I felt I was being watched by Angels. I was just angry though, how come I can’t get out? Why am I stuck here in this situation? Somewhere in my mind, I felt it wasn’t my time yet to break out. Maybe another limiting belief?

I felt as if I had to finish my karma and pay back money I borrowed? I did borrow money I just never thought paying back was slavery mentally and physically.

Interesting thing about the manifesting was that some things did work for me when I needed. One point in time, they made demands for more money and somehow, I received a raise. The raise happened again on another time they demanded more money. I felt very blessed! 🙂

One evening after work last year, I found a $50.00 bill on the ground while crossing the street to get to the train station to go home. I’ve found a $10.00 bill before on the ground but never a $50.00 bill!! It made me smile. I even cried a little. It brought me hope. Another rise in vibration!

I guess when it is time Spirit will give you what you need little by little. A bit of hope here and there.

One message did stand out to me which was changing your mindset. If you are not in a manifesting mindset, then nothing will come of it. Well, I had a lot to do then!! Lots of internal work. But, there is hope for me!

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