Going inwards: Self-Worth

Inner work begins with yourself.

After all, you can’t have high vibrational energy if you have inner turmoil and negativity stored in your subconscious.

For me, it is my self worth. I actually have many things to work on but this is a major one for me. This is most likely a 80% block in glowing my light. My childhood was toxic and it dragged onto my adulthood. I had no self worth most of my life. Therefore, I went into a manipulative relationship with people I called friends. With these people, I felt I had to give away myself to please them. I can say they stole my light but, I let them. I allowed them to take my light and anything I had left of myself. I was already seeing low of myself.

If you weren’t meant to be here in the world, than you wouldn’t exist. You are meant to be here.

The last few years I realized what I had done to myself. The last year in particular was my opportunity to act out my “escape”. I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I realized my worth. I am somebody. I am a living breathing person with my own free will.

Anyone familiar with tarot cards? There is an eight of swords card that shows an image of a female blindfolded and bound to a wall of swords. However, if you look closer, she was free to walk away anytime whenever she realizes it. That describes my situation very well.

Get to know yourself and see where in life you feel you are sad, angry, manipulated, or any negative feeling. What brought you here?

Are you stuck in a job you hate? I was in two jobs and I was dropped from one and left the other.

Do you have to step back from certain people in your life to contemplate? If you have to figure things out it is okay to go into hermit mode.

Time to reflect alone is a great idea.

Realizing what doesn’t serve you is an excellent start to bringing up your light. You will be uncomfortable. I cried for so many years while manipulated and cried some more even after leaving my situation. How did I get myself into this? Why did I allow this for myself? It was painful but, you must go through it.

Going through these painful memories is a step to the next stage.

Clear out your past or present pain.

Usually any present pain you have has a trail of past pain. A therapist can help you get through this if it is too traumatic. I did it on my own. You can also journal. Be creative in your journal. Imagery Journal. Poetry. If you don’t feel like writing, record it into the voice notes of your phone and write about it on your free time.

Take as long as you need.

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