“Every negative thought is a down payment on your failure. Every positive thought is an investment in your future.”
Going on this journey to a better self and a love vibrational self has been tough. Internally it is very tough. Due to my past toxic personality, I had affected people around me extremely negatively.
Starting with my manipulative friends. The mastermind of the whole situation began to hate me 6 years ago because of my toxic self. She expressed it and I guess she decided revenge was her best bet on getting me to feel her anger.
My family still see me as a toxic person and still treat me this way. They treat me like a low level being and it affects the way I improve myself. I think this is the reason why it is harder to change. I have constant reminders of who I used to be. I continue on with the same mistakes. I become the way they affect me. I make the same old judgements, the same old habits, and the most important thing I wanted to change the most, the same thought patterns.
These are my failures that I get reminded of constantly.
In many self help articles out there on the web, they say it is okay to deal with your negative emotions but, move on from them. Understand and acknowledge what you are thinking and continue on.
That is tough.
And on top of that, staying positive. I live with my family so, it is a challenge to ignore these feelings. Everyday, not only that my family reminds me of these emotions, I live with it consistently, repeatedly in my head.
“Negative thoughts are not protecting you. They are making you smaller. “
“You can’t be awesome and negative. Choose one.”
To see it in a brighter way, it is a challenge to persevere through the negative.
Keep accomplishing goals regardless of people’s judgement of me and my own judgement.
The challenge is to rise through my past failures and relationships. Regather my thoughts and see how I can change my thinking. Changing my thinking will change my actions. And my actions will change me outward and the way people respond to me.
Everyday, I feel like I begin from zero. I normally wake up and do gratitude affirmations, but I didn’t do that. Maybe I will turn it on now. It is still morning for me.