Failure

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“Failure is not the opposite of success. It is a part of success.”

“Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. “

I received notice of a personal failure today.

It brought me down today and set my vibrational levels all the way down. The reason I feel this way is because I have been unmotivated my whole life. I had no adult influence to push me forward as a child. My father was absent in my young life. He only cared about his own dreams and focused on work. My mother raised me alone but, she worked full time from home so, she left me to tend to myself unless she was ready to feed me or bathe me. The only push I received from my mother was when I came home with failing grades. She expressed extreme anger at me. She expected me to do better since I had a nice home with no one to bother me. It only made me feel horrible about myself.

That was a starting point of my failures in life.

As I grew up, I would start things and never finish them. In 2007, I started on a Bachelors Degree in the arts and never finished.

I had no motivation to continue with the slightest difficulty or the slightest challenge. Why is that? I would give into my emotions and give up immediately.

My emotions controlled me throughout life. I let it dictate how I lived my life because I didn’t sit back and think. My emotions would erupt and I let it tell me what to do.

This is part of the reason I am looking to change my life. I am tired of being that toxic person. It has taken me no where. I only attracted more toxicity into my life. And it kept going downward.

I am starting my life over since, I cut off toxic friends who manipulated me and lost 2 jobs last year. I am beginning from point zero. Zero meaning having zero achievements to me.

Yes, I do not have faith in myself today.

I tried to counter my feelings of defeat by running errands and cooking a new recipe for the first time today. Leaving the house with these emotions of defeat brought my vibrations down and people felt the low vibes. Immediately, I received weird behavior from people.

People who do not feel good about themselves or any part of their lives like to put others down. That is not acceptable. It is a horrible thing that people like to step on others to make themselves feel better. People enjoy seeing other people’s failures especially low vibrational beings. When you succeed, people back off.

I sulked on this all day. That doesn’t make matters any better.

It is a training program I wanted to get into however, I didn’t realize how competitive it was. I do get a chance to try again. I have no idea when that is. There is some hope there.

I feel like I am starting from zero again. Begin again. Maybe tomorrow. I am slowly picking myself up.

I am listening to a motivation video as I write this post. One thing the motivational video says is that life is short. Keep going. You just need one success to push forward. I will work on it.

It made me think about myself and the point I started changing after cutting off my manipulative friend. This challenge is making me go back to that point and think, did I really change? I feel like my external life hasn’t changed much. It is a short point from July to now. How much did I really change? I guess what I mean is that I am expecting an external result from changing my internal thought process. I have been trying to think positive. Shouldn’t I get better results in my life? Maybe that is the wrong way to see it. True change is when you apply your new ‘personality‘ to challenges. How does my new ‘personality’ face this challenge is the better wording for it. My choices determine my future.

My motivated self is saying it’s my first road block since July. Actually second. This program was trouble from the beginning. Anyhow, I shouldn’t let my progress stop due to this roadblock alone. In the Law of Attraction, if you are attracting something, it should come to you easily. In real life, it doesn’t always come that way. There are many successful people who went through so many failures such as one example, Walt Disney. He suffered bankruptcy and a mental breakdown before his company grew. Cliche example but, I didn’t do much research for this article. I think it’s staying motivated and continuous belief in yourself that helps the Law of Attraction work for you.

The lesson here is to not fall back to my old habits. Don’t give up so easily on the first try. Maybe I have to apply 4 more times. It is the cheapest training program I can find. It is competitive. I should work on a plan b. What’s the next step if I fail 4 more times?

Keep motivating myself

The other day, I was listening to an audiobook called, ‘The Miracle Morning’ by Hal Elrod. Amazing book. It is extremely detailed in explaining a morning routine that helps you become more productive. I started on that but, I gave up on that too. Waking up early has been hard for me. I can add on many reasons why I can’t wake up early however, the book says there shouldn’t be any reason to not wake up before your day starts to practice what he calls Life S.A.V.E.R.S.

S for Silence- practice meditation of sitting in silences.

A for Affirmations- Affirmations to change out negativity with positive thoughts

V for Visualization- Take some time to visualize your ideal day, your ideal goal, or even visualize using a vision board.

E for Exercise- Exercise even if it’s lite exercise will get your blood circulating and get you motivated for the day.

R is for Reading- Take time to read something motivational or quotes if you don’t have much time to keep you motivated on reaching your goals.

S is for Scribing- a.k.a Writing. You can have a digital journal or a book journal. Write your thoughts. Your goals in it. Or you can plan your day in a planner. So, you set you goals in place.

I have watched many videos in the past about morning routines that will assist productivity especially for those working at home. I never really absorbed anything until I listened to this book. This book clarified everything for me. It is a must read/or hear.

This audiobook came to me in the right timing. I guess my subconscious knows I need more productivity to get me moving in the right direction. Lesson understood. The lesson is to not stop. Keep going. One failure is nothing. 50 failures are nothing. Keep pushing until you achieve what you want to achieve. Keep believing and the Law of Attraction will assist.

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