I am bouncing back from the last post about failure. I feel better. Actually, I took some time to think about a solution. I normally take a long time to bounce back from my negativity. I would dwell on these negative emotions for days which was draining and stressful. After that, I did nothing about it. I am choosing to change this about me. If there is a solution to a problem, than I shall seek it. Give myself some peace.

The stress in negativity raises cortisol levels which is not good for the body. Cortisol is released into your blood stream, raises blood pressure and heart rate. With raised blood pressure and heart rate, the body is now in “flight or fight” mode. I am home and cozy in my room. There should be no reason for me to be in this fight mode.

For manifesting, my negative emotions blocks me from attracting what I want. I had several attempts in the past in manifesting with little or no luck. I am not going to dwell on that but, use it as a teacher. I will go through my sadness and then part ways with it. Is there anyone who can overcome defeat so easily? Parting ways with those emotions will allow me to bring in good vibes. I allow myself to experience defeat and move on to the next.

The Law of Attraction and alignment

The Law of Attraction brings what you want once you align yourself to what you want to attract. If you want a soul family, you must be the qualities you look for in a soul family. Whether it is manifesting material wealth, manifesting a new career(important for me),manifesting a soulmate, a new house, a new car, and etc. To emotionally align yourself is to feel that high vibration.

The fastest way I can think of raising to that high vibration is meditating to a image you feel is inspiring. I think a happy beach photo with the sun shining bright in the sky is a good image to meditate with. Try playing with your energy to see if you can raise your own vibes. It should be fun. If you are a swimmer and it gives you peace to swim. Imagine that.

Photo by cottonbro on

The cow is random but, I found it amusing. Humor can help in raising vibes too.

or think about the happiest moment you had. Was it graduating? Was it getting a promotion? Was it having your first child born to the world? or as simple as learning a new skill.

Dark night of the soul

Up to this post, I wrote about my past patterns and all my negativity I had to deal with. It is a hard process. In spirituality, I went into the dark night of the soul. It is going through the dark side of yourself. For me, I see myself as a toxic person attracting what I did into my life. Manipulation and people who cross my boundaries. I let them cross it. I had to look into my negative habits such as emotional bursts of anger, depression, unmotivation, self-hate and recognize what made me this way. It was not easy. But, going back into my past and putting the broken pieces together was necessary for me.

I think I am still going through it. I now understand me better. I know how to calm my anxieties, my fears, soothe my emotions when I am triggered. I am aware my family still trigger my old self so, I have to stay away from them a little bit. However, I am still not in full control. I am much better at since I am in a quiet environment at home. I can practice more self-awareness at home. Maybe my peace away from the outside world is all I needed. The last few years, I worked two jobs in order to please manipulative friends while I was losing my soul. This break is much needed to recover myself and to heal.

“You are exactly where you need to be in your path”.

Why am I still not manifesting? I am still holding onto my old thoughts and emotions. They are so familiar to me. I hate to admit it but, it is a part of my safe zone. When I try something new, changing my thought patterns to a positive one brings me stress. I am still struggling with thinking positively. This is holding me back.

“Personal-growth work can be both exciting and scary, and may include the process of discovering disowned parts of the self, making peace with yourself, and becoming the best you that you can be. It is a journey to wholeness.”

The best thing about this inner work is understanding where my inner rage came from. I had no idea why I was so angry as a young child. I used to think I inherited it from my dad. He has an anger issue that he never fixed. Anyway, I now know how to change my thought patterns and when to change it. When I feel a negative emotion come up, I try to focus on something else to calm the emotion before changing the thought. For example, What makes me angry. Controlling my reaction when people anger me. I stop the emotion first. Then, I change the thought. I have been in complete hermit mode the last few months (since I am home alot more) so, I had plenty of time to process my old patterns.
It is time for me to practice my new thoughts and patterns. That is the true test of my change. Practice makes perfect.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but, nothing grows there.”

I am closer to alignment than I ever was. Going into the world with my new teachings will be difficult. It is out of my comfort zone but, I must do it in order to receive better. I deserve better than I ever received.

“A change of feeling is a change of destiny.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

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