Feeling Wave of Negativity


I must have a obsession with negativity. I’ve been riding this wave of feeling sad, anxious emotions and exhausted energy which may be generated from the sadness.

Photo by Simon Berger on Pexels.com

I am learning to accept these changes as my current life. There are some changes that I am not comfortable with. That is what change is. Getting out the comfort zone! Perseverance is essential here. Keeping your chin up. I’ve seen the saying, “Chin up, buttercup”. Or is it keep your head held high? There is that negative side of me that thinks if you hold your chin up too high your head will hurt.

Reading the news gives me more anxiety so I have been trying not to read it often. Maybe once a week so I am at least up-to-date on current events. Every time I turn on the news, there’s only destruction, hate, anger, death, and nothing good. It’s better off I read the news rather than watch. Watching it live makes it more intense for me.

In fact, I’ve unplugged my tv most of covid. Just lots of YouTube and Netflix to keep me company.

In New York restrictions are slowly being lifted but when that happens chaos will start before things slowly turn normal. As if things are not chaotic enough. Maybe I am glad I am still at home. I think staying away from the city is better for me.

To stay away from negativity, I am trying to stay grounded. I am not going to lose hope. There will be a time for me again. Maybe I am just needing more time to heal. Knowing myself once I integrate back into the world I will want to be home again away from hussle and chaos.

Away from angry people. Away from crowds. Away from loud noise.

I am loving the slow life. I feel like my soul needs it at this time in my life. I am going up there in age. I don’t need that fast life anymore.

In New York, people want things done fast. Getting a slice of pizza, getting a prescription, shopping, ordering food. Where are you in a hurry to? Even during covid. No thanks. Take your time. Just don’t forget me and my order 🙂

In actuality, I am happy with being home. I get free time to go on walks whenever I want and however long I want it to be! Just some other changes that create worry for me. But it is just riding the wave. I am letting it happen. Trying to let go of my expectations of any outcomes. And let life happen. Of course, here and there I will take some action but the rest, I have to let it go. Which is still hard for me. Cheers to letting go!

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