Gloomy day- after some rain this morning

Rain usually is great! Washes away all the dirt on the ground and smelly garbage in the air from city trash. Rain helps clears the air. However, bad weather brings moody people and sleepiness.

I am still in a self doubt mode. Its alot of self-reflection of what is it that I want? Currently, I do want to be financially taken care of but going back to my old ways of working is not fulfilling. I do not have a professional career. So going back to my old retail job was something I thought was for me but it wasn’t. I am back at an office job working the front desk but not fulfilling either. What is it that I want? Something to journal about for me.

Everyone is searching for that better way of fulfilling their heart and to also provide for family. I love this about this time. It is truly a time for reflecting on your needs. What makes you truly happy?

Of course there are the negative nay sayers in peoples life. The people that tell you “you are not doing anything with your life”. Or if you are my family, you dont get it told to your face. Instead you get a look! A look. “Oh you quit you’re job. I see.” Followed by a look. I am 37 years old guys! There I said it. I am old. No kids thank god! I think I would have a meltdown if I had children to drag into my “soul searching”. I cant let my babies see me like this. Kids need strong, smart, resilient parents!

Anyway, I continue finding myself! And of course those challenges I spoke about in yesterdays post. I guess it is holding on and getting through them. Theres always something being thrown at you. My next level involves learning my old lessons in life and applying them to my life now. No mistake in life is wasted. Only to better your life!