Wake me up with positive intention

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Why am I thinking about that song “Wake me up before you go-go”? By Wham!

Funny band name.

Sounds like a good positive song for the morning. 

Have you read the book “Morning Miracles” by Hal Elrod? He writes about a wonderful morning routine that helps sets the tone of the day for success before 8 am. The trouble with that is well, if you are like me, waking up before 8am is tough unless you have an early morning job or any other life circumstance. 

So many people have their own versions of morning routines. I do not follow a particular routine myself but, one thing is important about this routine. 

The consistency and the intention setting to positivity is so important to having a good day. 

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It is so fantastic to be able to wake up early and be able to read in the morning, do a little exercise, and journal. Well, if you read the book, you know the acronym “SAVERS”, you know what I mean. For me, you have to drag me out of bed. I love my sleep!

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Intentionally setting up positivity to your day is important. Game changer!

Even if you end up with a crappy day, there is something good about it. That positive intention sticks on your mind. It keeps you running when things do go south during your day. I understand this now. 

The challenge would be to apply this to a busy day! Waking up with limited time for breakfast because being an early bird is not in your routine.

Rushing in the morning to work and then being slammed with a rush of work right when you walk into the office. Let me take off my coat at least. Shish! Gosh, I do not miss that!!

I am so blessed right now with my sweet time waking up.

Enjoy my mornings even though it is late morning. 

Anyway, you can spiritually do this. You can imagine a ball of light and think of all the good things you want for the day. Or simply feel the good energy of positive affirmations. I love Pinterest for this. One social media that is pretty beneficial.

Start the day with creating a beautiful, successful, productive, loving day with lots of hugs & kisses from your family, happy day even if you miss your train that will get you to work right on time!

Listening to the Universe

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I fortunately, have so much free time of late that I have been trying to listen in. I am always in search of my calling. Am I leading myself to my calling? Is there something else I should be doing?

Follow your heart, it knows the way

I recently listened to the audiobook version of Oprah Winfrey’s, “The Path Made Clear”. One message she clearly states is that the Universe is always whispering to you. It is whether you hear it or not. The Universe talks to you in whispers and ignoring this can send your life down. I must admit I have been distracting myself and if I do sense something, maybe I have pushed it aside.

Use of free time

I know this free time is perfect to figure myself out. In between looking for jobs, I am learning about my values. I am learning what I feel is right and not what others tells me is right. This is a wonderful opportunity to continue improving myself. Self-improvement is ongoing. It is nonstop. Growth is a constant thing in life. If you are not growing, you are not really living. Growth is different for everyone.

For me, well, I am still working on that slowly. I realized I still have trust issues from past relations with people. I may have healed some but, I must learn to let new people in when someone comes into my life. This will be tough as I still have some self-doubts.

Maybe the Universe is telling me I still have some more work to do before I am ready for that next job. Is that why I keep getting rejected from the jobs I do want? As the saying goes, rejection is God’s protection.

Where am I being redirected to?

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart”

–Roy T. Bennett

if you don’t follow your heart, you might spend the rest of your life wishing you had

Unknown author

Focusing in on Positivity

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Staying clear minded and positive is tough. Winter is here and it has been mostly dark. The last couple days were sunny and beautiful almost as if Spring was teasing a bit. Yesterday was beautiful. I think other people were enjoying it too. Temperatures have been about 10 degrees so, having just one day of warmth and sun is a nice break!

I am home mostly due to Covid, ice cold weather and no where to go. This can take a toll mentally. I would try to read to take my mind off things but, my anxiety would kick in a little bit and take me off my reading.

My diet has been horrible. I am single and lazy so, I just eat the most convenient foods. I do feel crappy after eating this type of diet so, I have to work on that. Maybe it can improve my moods a little.

I can say working on law of attraction is slightly on hold. I am working on keeping my vibrations high so, I can attract just good flow of energy. That is always good. Keeping myself centered is important for my mental health. It keeps the bad thoughts out and keeps my moods from dipping. Another thing is my lack of creativity. How do you learn how to leave your comfort zone when you are mostly home bound? My mind goes blank.

During the Holidays//

Even though, I am working on myself internally, the Universe is sending me love through unexpected situations such as a love interest. I never really had one of these. Or maybe I have never noticed anyone interested in me. My mind normally tells me I am not social enough to date or interesting enough nor pretty enough. However, during the holidays as I was focused on my self-love since no one else seemed to care about me. My brother never said Happy Birthday to me but, he text me Merry Christmas on Christmas day. My parents didn’t want to see me on my birthday or even wanted to celebrate it. I insisted. I wanted to see my parents for my birthday! Since no one cared for me, I cared for myself. I bought flowers for myself even though I was sad. I bought candles to watch holiday hallmark movies in the dark. I am a sucker for Holiday Romance movies.

I could’ve let my dark thoughts take over for the holidays. My birthday is right next to Christmas so, I wanted it to feel nice. I by all means do not think I am special but, it kind of hurt me that not even my family wanted to acknowledge me on my birthday. My negativity took me to all these thoughts that were more harmful than helpful to my self-love. I decided even with my sad emotions to just treat myself anyway. I created a beautiful setting to set up my birthday. I bought myself cake, flowers, snacks for movie night alone and treated myself to breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I think that was the important thing during the holidays. Despite no one cared for me, I decided to think there is someone who does care for me and that is myself. And all of a sudden, on my way home from running to the pharmacy, I see this guy in the neighborhood that I never really cared to notice heading to his car. Actually, where did he come from? He was handsome! We ended up looking at each other. He smiled at me. I looked away quickly and he walked away to his destination. I was so surprised. I was shocked he showed interest my way. Normally, people avoid looking at me and just pass me on the street.

Days later, I see him again. He tries to grab my attention. He was standing near his car and I was walking down his direction. Here comes my mistake, I ignored him because I was in a bad mood. I was thinking he would never stay interested in me anyway once he got to know me. I mean, the world never cared to treat me like I mattered so, maybe he would turn out to be just like everyone else after he got what he wanted. I continued to ignore him even after he continued to wave like crazy.

Why do I see this as a mistake? I had to think about it.

It is interesting how no one cared for me in the world including my family on my birthday but, somehow this guy appears on the day and smiles at me. I was outside gathering all the goods to treat myself and this guys appears. How interesting. I know it sounds silly. But, I do not take these things lightly. I take signs from life and I try to read into them. Sometimes, I read too much into them. I am quite a serious person. I wished I hadn’t ignored him when he was waving at me like a maniac to grab my attention from across the street. Why didn’t I take the chance and say hi?

Dream I had last night//

I wake up not too long ago from a dream I had. Some changes with my family. My little brother is becoming serious with his girlfriend. So, I had a dream that I wasn’t invited to his wedding. His wife-to-be was doing the wedding planning and hired a wedding planner. I confronted the wedding planner because she sent out all the invitations in front of a large group of people at a venue. It appears she was organizing some event at this venue which is why there was all these people. I normally, do not confront people nor confront in a large crowd so, my not being invited really upset me. I am the grooms’ sister, how come? She made up a lie about sending it out in the mail. “Maybe it got lost in the mail,” She said. Yeah, right. Everyone else in my dream got an invitation. So, it was obvious I was excluded. I didn’t go any further. I turn away and start walking out of the venue. That’s when I woke up.

I was in such a terrible mood. Since I woke up straight from the dream, my emotions were real and I felt alone. I felt unwanted because people see no worth in me. It took me an hour to switch my mind into thinking it was just a dream. I have to tell myself even if people around me see no worth in me, I have to believe in myself. Somehow, I just have to believe in myself!

Despite how my life appears to others right now, I choose to stand by myself. This is pretty hard because I also share the view of others. It is easy to see that someone with no job, no ambitions currently, and no husband or kids appears very low to society. Especially in an Asian family, I am the oldest which means the oldest is supposed to be married first. But, it is 2021, who is paying attention to these traditions anyway?

I still stand by myself. A chunk of my young adult life was listening to toxic friends who I followed down a bad path. Currently, making up for that time is rough but, I will only keep faith in myself. This is only the beginning which is what I say to myself. My changes are slow. At times, I wonder if there are any changes at all happening to my life. When I exchanged looks with that guy, well that is something there.

I never thought love would ever appear in my life. Not even a hint of it. It gives me hope even though I may have turned down that hope, haha.

My current mental state is to keep on going. Staying positive can only improve my experiences and help me reach my current goals.

When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.

To not worry about the opinion of others but my own.

Keep faith and hope. For myself and for the world. That things can get better.

(And proper diet and exercise to get through this super cold winter!)

Thank you for reading!

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It’s finally time to break out of the comfort zones! Really!!

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I am surrounded by cozy. A lot of articles say comfort zones can be boring and well, it can be. It is staying in what is safe for you. For me, it is preventing me from changing. Times are tough now with omnicron and winter. So, going anywhere would be difficult unless you have family to travel to visit. That is wonderful. 

My dream right now is to go to a warm sunny Island and away from gloomy cold winter days of New York. People want to be in New York City for New Years. I prefer to be sipping iced tea at a beach! 

One issue is that my comfort zone lies being here in NY. I am afraid to travel because honestly, of my race and how alone I am. That has never stopped anyone. For me, my fears keeps me trapped. Also, I currently am in saving mode since I am still jobless. But, perhaps when I do have the means and things are relaxed a bit from Covid, do I have the will to do it? Travel alone?

I am currently reading up books on comfort zones and law of attraction. I spoke about working on my self-confidence but, I think working on my comforts and breaking out of them would bring up my self-confidence. Things are all connected. And this action would encourage some good changes I am seeking in my life. I can also get away from thinking about my mom and her mental illness for a short while. Am I being too selfish trying to stay clear of her negativity? It would be wonderful if she can come along with me but, she is so negative, she will have 50 reasons not to go. 

Poor mom. 

A good idea is start small by getting the courage to talk to people. Gosh. I fear people and their judgements. I am aware of this but not able to fix this. Pushing myself to do it would be tough. I rather order food through an app than speak my order. Part of this is laziness and mostly I am too “Introverted”. I dislike using these terms you see online such as Pinterest and instagram. People can distort these terms and it becomes a definition different from the traditional definition of a word. So, let’s say I am too shy. Honestly, I’m  a scared person to speak up. 

I have too many comforts!! Sticking to my comfort zones became more intense for me since Covid started. Since leaving my crazy toxic situation, I have been protecting myself inside this cozy bubble of mine. It started with leaving toxic “friends” and then toxic jobs. Now, its as if anything that makes me happy with ease, I will do it with pleasure. The last two years was all about healing and keeping myself “safe”. The issue with this is now I am in the same place and would like a push to where I want to go.

When will I have the courage to start breaking out of them? I do not know? I have been thinking about this all year long. I even wrote a few posts about comfort zones. I didnt review those posts but this one may be possibly similar to them.

I feel my keeping inside my safe zones delays my self improvement. Not that self-improvement has a deadline because it doesn’t. A time frame exists only if you put one on yourself and call it a goal. 

So, do not be like me and challenge yourself to something new and different. Should you make a list of challenges to knock off?  Why not? I don’t have a list but I do have my top 3 comfort zones I would love to break out of. 

My top three comfort zones I need to break:

1)Being comfortable around people and talking to strangers. 

2)Traveling alone

3)Getting past difficulties even when I am very terrible at something. I give up when something is too hard and have lack of support. I give up when I am capable of pulling through. 

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share comfort zones you would like to break out of below. Love any comments. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!!! Happy 2022!!!!!!!

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“if you do not like where you are, move. You are not a tree.”

This year…

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Ah December! It is the ending of the year and also my birthday month! Yey!! I had ups and downs this year and struggled. I tried hard not to compare myself to those around me which was hard. I have written a post about being lost at age 37 in which I still do feel this way. I’ve been binge watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix so, not much soul searching, haha.

In which, the show reminded me why I stopped watching so many years ago. I do love the story but, the characters were all way too dramatic. I am a very emotional person and even for me the characters can be over the top but, it made it a good show.

Moving on…

Since it is the end of the year, I have been pondering about my 2021 experience. I have been thinking about my goals I set for myself this year and if I did a good job. Maybe I am being harsh in judging my year this way. I think I had some movements, and definitely had some struggles. It is a slow year for me.

One of my goals this year was to return to school for medical assisting. That didn’t go well at all. One program required an entrance exam because it was competitive. I didn’t get in. I tried a different school with a medical assisting program and that failed too due to lack of registered students. I ended up just going back to school for a bachelor’s degree. I didn’t get in full time as I hoped since I had register issues. When I finally cleared those issues, most of the courses were filled. I had quite a struggle with schooling.

Another goal was to get back into the workforce which was also a fail. I lost job opportunities because I was trying to schedule work around school which employers are not nice about it even though they claim they are. I do not have a professional job so, my options are retail positions or front desk positions. I have to say these jobs are high demand jobs that do not care about your personal life. They pay you low and want you to break your back for them with 5 years of experience. I also dealt with toxic employers which I wrote about in a previous post. I can dedicate another personal post about my job experiences but, I will not. I am keeping it simple. I know so many people have horrible jobs out there so people can relate. Bottom line is working for someone else sucks!

I am still searching for the ‘right job’ but, it has to give me work/life balance so I can work on my personal goals and the employer shouldn’t play mind games. So, not only do bosses want to give you shit pay for all your experience and work you to the bone with 10 hour shifts, 30 minute unpaid breaks, no healthcare benefits or any benefits but, they have to play sick games because their own life is boring. I don’t have time for that! And all bosses think your job is easy. Well, they can do it themselves.

Okay, got a bit emotional there! Maybe letting out some steam will clear out some bitterness.

I am still in quarantine mode since it’s only just me. My class is a hybrid class so, I am mostly at home. I only go out if I need to do errands or groceries. New York is slightly back to normal. Everyone is out and about, going to concerts, bars or movies. I went to target today and I noticed they removed the six feet apart signs. So, slightly back to normal.

Some slight changes. After Target, I went to a grocery store nearby and was treated like a criminal. I had to show my receipt to prove my innocence. I never been so offended in my life!! The cashier still looked at me in disgust as if she knows I stole something but, she can’t prove it. What’s wrong with people? Or do I have a doppelganger they have an image of stealing? I did the passive aggressive thing and went on google to write a bad review about my bad experience. I felt really dirty after the situation.

Maybe I should go back to online purchasing.

Anyway, I have some ups and downs this year. Some good moments and bad ones. My mother’s decline in physical and mental health was another bad one this year. It brought me down a lot. I have been worrying about how to care for her. I have family who watchers her but, her mental decline goes up and down.

It also made me admit to my own mental health. It is not all so great. To be honest, I think I am super sensitive about stuff and take it too personal. So, I can work it out. I’ve thought about therapy but, I’ve done therapy as a teenager. It was a bad experience and do not feel the need or want to go back to therapy. Anytime, I felt sad, my therapist wanted me to go on more pills. The pills did nothing for me except suppress my emotions. This does nothing to help you improve your life. That is a whole other post to write about. I do believe medicine can be of great help in mental health but, not for every person who says they feel sad.

Moving on,

This year could have been better. Maybe I could have done a bit more. Maybe I could’ve gone outside the neighborhood to a museum and be normal. One thing I go back to is how grateful I am to have the support I do have, the home I have, clean water, clean clothes, and any other means to support myself. Maybe I am lost at 37 but, not completely lost. I have a permanent address. I own a computer. I have internet. I have family that still care for me despite my bad past with them. Without all this, I would have nothing. I didn’t satisfy my goals list the way I wanted to but, I did start on some things to better myself. Also, this blog that I had for almost a year. I thought I would have only 5 readers by the end of this year, but I have more than that! A big thank you!

I do not drink alcohol but, if I did, I would have a glass of wine to drink to this. This is a great cause for celebration!

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Cheers!

(P.S. This may not be my last post of the year. So, please expect more from me before the year ends)

Moving forward in acceptance



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What a lovely morning after a full moon night. I saw the moon round and bright last night! I had the perfect view of it. I had the clearest view outside my window! Usually, I don’t like full moons because my former friends would use it as an opportunity to create more “challenges” to collect my money. Traditionally, the full moon means crazy things happening. I guess symbolically they thought this was funny. That was one giveaway that had me think their “scheme” was fake and not real. Anyway, moving on.

Yesterday, I had a feeling of new energy. New beginnings rising. Not from staring out my window at the full moon but I feel it as a nice feeling of something new arriving. I am looking forward to it. It’s nice to have this feeling of hope inside. I have been so negative but I am learning to accept what I can and can not control on my life. 

Letting go and realizing you can’t control things in life is hard. I’m so used to worrying and creating false stress for myself that this new skill in “acceptance” is a tough one. 

Acceptance is not going against the occurrences in your life. It is about realizing that not everything will go your way and that is okay. Life is tough. Life is full of people, things and events that can alter an outcome of something in your life. Accept all that arrives in your life. Any decision you make should help you forward to your end goal whichever it may be. However, any negativity or thought that keeps you from your happiest is resistance. Release all negative, sad, depressing, critical thoughts. Live in the moment. 

Stop and sit for a second. What is happening around you right now? That is your current moment. Live in the moment and make proper decisions to move forward. Is it time to make breakfast? Go cook it up in the kitchen! Is it time to take out the garbage? Go deal with that stinky mess! Are you currently unwinding with a book? Enjoy your reading for the 30 minutes you give to your book. 

Yes, there is stress that will come in. The news talks about food shortages all over the nation and possible fears of shortages for the holidays. I can fall into the fear or I can check out the reality. Walk around my favorite stores. Do I see any shortages? Thankfully, my stores are stocked with the basics that I need and that is enough! 

I can worry about the hike in food prices and any product sold in stores for that matter but, I can be smart about my money! Creating a list of necessary items and items that I want for the sake of wanting. And looking at my budget. The decision to prep myself will save me stress. 

Speaking of buying, I just bought myself an Amazon Kindle Fire which went on an early Black Friday sale. I couldn’t help it. I have been wanting a tablet for so long. I can read my ebooks and magazines online in convenience. I made this decision since I saw a sale, I decided to go for it. Right now, I have the budget to go do it. I love technology upgrades! Energy draining for the environment but, I will try to conserve! 

This decision also has been made because in the past I was prevented from getting things I wanted because I “owed” money to my manipulative “friends”. This purchase makes me happy. No one can manipulate me now! I own power to what I can and can not do! It’s an exciting freedom! Choosing to be in my own power feels great. 

Not everything is perfect for me and there are still people trying to use manipulation to get to me but, I can choose to give my energy into it or choose to block it out of my life. My intention will be seen with my actions. Looking back, I fell into the manipulation of alot of people including old bosses who use me and this shall be no more. It is so subtle that I easily fall into it. People can be tricky tricksters to get what they want! I am learning to recognize it and either I chose to confront it or I can chose and just drop it and move on. This is a new thing I will get into. I am not perfect at it yet. But, practice makes perfect! 

I release the old and look forward to the new! My happiness will be managed moving forward. I intend to become aware in my thoughts and change out my negative thoughts into positive ones. Thanks for reading! 

Clearing away challenges

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Just when you think it’s over a new challenge pops up. I have been going through my days with anxiety lately. I even feed my anxiety with caffeine which creates a bigger ball of anxiety in my chest. I know how caffeine works for me which is not good and I still go for that cup of coffee. It just smells so good! The smell of delicious coffee is so addicting for me.

My problems always seem to be minor or as my family sees it, I dig myself in this hole. Then, I must do it daily to myself. I have a beautiful day and then a challenging following day. Makes me think how I should enjoy the better days more! My family sees me as a screw up which is understandable but, it keeps me from turning to them for help.

So, I challenge myself to go through this alone.

Okay not really, I tried to turn to someone else for advice but, that failed. It is my life and I should make my own choice. This is a good lesson for me to learn how deal with difficulties with confidence. Mentally, I am thinking, “Gosh, why do I have to deal with this?

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Taking nature walks to clear my head. This cold weather makes it harder to go outside for walks. I love walks because it is exercise and getting out the house clears away my negative thoughts. I still try to make it outside before the weather hits 20 degrees. I have to push myself to get out the door. I tell myself that it will help me mentally.

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My next anxiety attack came on this evening. So, I decided to meditate to keep my anxiety from getting worse. Breathing exercises does amazing things in calming the mind. I did a 10 minute breathing exercise to bring me back to a relaxed state. I also hope, as I do this breathing exercise, I can find some wisdom to handle my current challenge.

What is this challenge? Another manipulative old boss contacting me regarding some old business. He was worse than the boss I recently quit. Is there a relation between the two? Hmm. He took advantage of his power and tried to manipulate me. One thing I hate about telling people I have no kids and no husband is that people think I am an open case for easy manipulation. I have to admit, I opened myself up to this type of behavior in the past.

In other words, I allowed it.

He tried to get what he wanted which was try to wrap me around his finger. I am not into confrontation or a good talker for that matter so, I prefer to stay away. But, two years later, he tries to do it again through an email. Well, this this I have to drop the “business” and let it go. I do not want what you have to offer if you want to play games for me to get it. That means I am better off without this “business”.

That is my decision. Moving forward, my life is about having good things come into my life. This is a lesson on what is important to me and what is not. I am looking to attract better. Not these manipulative people seeking to hook onto to someone who they perceive as “weak”. I have alot of these types of people come into my life which is showing me to change all of that. I consistently bring in this energy. I am not looking for it yet, it continues to come to me.

I am looking for articles online and books on anything to change this energy. Let’s bring better.

Good signs from the Universe


My life is not exactly put together but, something I am doing is working well. 

In the afternoon, I decided to go out for some light grocery shopping. I just wanted some fresh fruits to add to my day. As I leave the house, I feel the beauty of the day and almost walk past a stack of cash on the ground two houses away from my home. I pick it up! 

It is perfect! It’s just amazing timing! I didn’t even look at the cash. I just took it with me to the grocery and at the cashier, I open the rolled stack and there was $14. It’s a beautiful thing because my total came up to just under $13. It’s almost as if the Universe provided it for me and knew the right amount to send me.

I do know magical things happen all the time.   

Or 

Is it just my lucky day? Depends on perspective. I like to see it as a sign from the Universe! 

The Universe knows I need a whole lot of miracles. Of course I have to work on myself as I receive these miracles. I do not expect things to be provided for me. In fact, I’ve always had to work harder for something as someone else would have it easier. It is only recently, I decided to change my thought. 

I wanted to train myself to think that life can be easy. 

Coming back from deeply low emotions for two weeks, brought me new found positivity. I am not even sure where I am getting this feeling of hope from. I just tell myself that I can’t give up on myself. I seek better for me because I am worthy of it. I am so fortunate to have more than the less fortunate. I should train myself to be happier. 

There are people in poor countries living with trash sent over from other countries including the one I live in. Yet, they find happiness! That is true wealth! Living within your means and enjoying life. There is only one life! Worry when you need to but, be happy as often as you can!  Beauty in life is how you make it! Artists constantly make beauty out of nothing. So, anyone can train themselves to create a life of happiness. 

I have returned to decluttering. I sadly admit to shopping again since discovering thredup. I decided to edit and remove any excess that I have. I am currently training myself to be happy with what I already own. I constantly go back to thinking a purchase will make me happy. Absolutely not. I have items in my wardrobe now that doesn’t go with the theme I created last year for my clothes. I just wanted to buy it. 

I am relearning to be more thoughtful of what I bring in. 

My anxiety has increased again, so I resort to my old habits to ease myself. It actually does the opposite. I start to have buyers remorse again which is the main reason I originally decided to declutter last year. Upon realizing this, I jumped into editing myself. I have to examine myself. I see that going back to my old habits causes more anxiety. The opposite of what I wanted. It’s a constant thing to keep awareness of your own habits. Is it helping? Or is it hurting?

Going back to decluttering feels great! It feels like some weight lifted off me. I strive to be happy as I am. At this moment, my internal self is incomplete. This is the cause of my unhappiness. 

On the other hand, I continue my hopeful purchases to increase my intention for a job interview. I updated my interview outfit for the just in case moment. I bought a nice work blazer from the thrift store. It fits perfectly! I had to get it. I updated my interview shoes. I am just showing the Universe I am still interested in the right job when the opportunity arrives. 

As I continue to battle my anxiety, I seek ways to change my thinking. I live near green space so, I constantly seek wisdom from the grass and trees. It is fall here and the colors of the leaves are gorgeous. The beauty in nature just redirects my negative focus to something better. It’s not exactly positive but, I shifted my thinking. That is a great start. 

Continue with the good work. Here’s my simple, quick list:

  1. being hopeful
  2. Actions with positive intention
  3. Shifting out of the negative loop
  4. My gratitude and affirmations
  5. Believe that you will be provided for as you seek what you are seeking

Signs from the Universe gives me more motivation to keep on doing what I am doing. 

Believe that all will be okay. Continue with positive actions. This pandemic has created challenges to our modern lives but, we are resilient people! We have survived the Black Plague, the Spanish flu, Ebola, World Wars, etc. Live in love and please ❤️ the beautiful Earth ✌🏻

Thanks for reading! I seek to help others as I help myself. So many people are battling anxiety, stress and worry about their futures. Seek happiness in now. I think this pandemic is an excellent way to slow down and be mindful. People are in a rush to go back to the hussle of everyday modern life. I think many are starting to see our modern lives are not exactly the most comfortable way of life. So much modern life yet we work under so much pressure to have it. We spend more time at work than we do at home. It’s tough changing a mindset but it can be done. Your life is how you see it. If you can change that negative thought, your life will change. This is my aim to begin my day with this thought. 

Chilly morning but, accepting everyday will be different

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Everyday is a new beginning. The weather this morning is cooler than yesterday. Everyday can bring new delights or new challenges.


A part of my current challenges is accepting change.

I am so used to my comfort zone that accepting new things that make me uncomfortable just gives me intense anxiety. 

These are not exactly changes that I am creating for myself. It is changes that are happening in my life. Thankfully, these new situations coming into my life are happening slowly. I think I would have a panic attack if they happened all at once. 

My heart beats so fast it feels like my breathing will slow down a bit. 

I remind myself to breathe in and out. 

I remind myself that things are okay. 

I am safe. 

I remind myself to take things in slowly so I can pace myself as I deal with my situations.

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Another practice I reduced was my meditation. Meditation helps so much! Something else to go back to. I rely on myself now which is tough. I know, life is all about making decisions for yourself. So, my decisions means actions that have good or bad consequences. I doubt myself so much. Am I making the right ones for myself? I’ve messed up so often throughout my life. Will I screw up again?

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Next, assignment for myself is to work on my self-esteem. I tried to do it on my own but, I need some kind of assistance. I have recently discovered that libraries have gone digital. I am SO looking forward to reading as much self-help books as possible!!! 

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Managing my life right correctly is in my list of to-dos. I am just not sure which direction to take it on. I realize I am still a hot mess. I have to pick up my pieces and put them together so I can see some kind of organization in my life. 

I am currently reading, “50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem” by Janetti Marotta.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your day!

Return to positivity

Back to my affirmations journals


The weather is gorgeous outside. It is nearly 70 degrees today! It is just about to be 11:00am and its gorgeous! The weather has been showing its early winter self by going down to the 40s and it has been depressing since daylight savings. I do not like the summer heat but I do enjoy the long, warm days! It is nice to have a sunny warm day again! Enjoy a nice cup of coffee outside!

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This day has reminded me to go back to my affirmations. My emotions have dipped extremenly low due to the job failures I had. I am looking up now and want to bring my mindset back to positive. It is time to correct my internal talk.

The mind constantly goes back to negativity and worries. This thinking does weigh you down and wastes energy. So, things can be better if I change my mindset.

A blogger reminded me of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s work. He teaches the power of the mind. The way you think will bring what you expect in life. If you expect the worst out of a situation so, it will be. If you expect the best out of a situation so, it will be. I forget this teaching and it was nice to revisit Dr. Dyer’s work through youtube videos of his lectures. The lectures are crazy long but, there are short ones there.

A blogger also reminded me to return to affirmations. I have started my journals as mentioned in a previous post but neglected it for about two months.

See previous post about my journals:

I started these journals because my mind is intensely negative and needs to see repetition to replace my automatic thoughts. There are people who can study for an exam by just repeating to themselves out loud. Then, there are others who need to write it down 50 times in order to have something memorized. My studying style is more like this.

It will hurt your hand haha but, writing down an affirmation 50 times work out for me. My mind has a hard time believing in something good for myself.

I must replace my thoughts with better in a workbook. Once my mind gets into a positive state, I continue to work on it to keep myself there even through worries.

You’re worries will always be there.

It is just seeing that the best outcome will happen which is the purpose of the exercise. It is amazing how things work out with thoughts of positivity and letting go.

In addition, I have a coping mechanism for my negative emotions which is shopping and decluttering. These do not go together! I am working on adjusting myself. I’m a work in progress. I am constantly editing things in my life and trying to be “better”. I think it adds to my negativity. I should get a hobby once I avoid laziness.

Anyway, off I go to self-improve myself. Enjoy this beautiful day!

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