11:11 Journey – (1st post)


Manifesting can be magical and amazing.

However, the process of manifesting is different than you think. A lot of it has to do with your mindset. If you have a positive mindset and happy, positive feelings, you can attract so many great things to you. The Universe will grant you everything that is of your highest good!

FYI: if you read anywhere on this blog and there is weird “woo woo” stuff mentioned, you were alerted.

Manifesting for me has been an interesting journey. As of today, I haven’t manifested much at all. Just my personal free time is what I have wanted for a long time(away from manipulating friends). Manifesting, for me so far, has been about inner work and bringing myself to a higher vibration. Sure, I want to make money and be my own boss, have a nice home, make my own schedule, have love in my life but, I do not feel I am good enough for it. Universe needs me to be clear and be aligned with what I want.

Positive energy. I have struggled with this for a long time. I was always dragging negativity with me. Everywhere I went, negativity was all around me because I never saw it. I used to think it was other people doing this to me, never ME! Why did this happen to me? Why didn’t it happen to her? Why do I have to be always the one with the short end of the stick? Why? Why? Why? It is a victim mentality and it was making my negativity larger and darker. I think people sensed it off of me. Sometimes when I go out in the public, people would just turn to me and stare at me for no reason? Geez!!!! Am I that toxic?

I used to get 11:11 signs whenever I was negative or thinking out of alignment with what I wanted for me. I never understood it.

Finally, last year, I had enough of my negative life. Tired of being depressed, grumpy, and moody. I wanted to change it and be more proactive in my own life. I wanted to lead it to a better path.

Changing mindset. A good example is when I would go out, I feel like people would always be in my way. Cars would always block me. Every time I would cross the street, a big truck would always back up into the street I wanted to cross. Or people would always walk into me blocking my path. What is up with all these blocks?

One day, I started changing my mindset. I started thinking, I am walking too slow that’s why I can’t cross fast enough before the truck starts to park. Or Well, it is a busier time in my neighborhood. Let me walk to a quieter street. I adjusted my mindset and walked a different block and things changed.

Look for a different approach to how you see things. Think outside the box not inside the box. Be mindful and don’t stress over little things. I get surprised how the Universe just works with you.

During a summer day last year, I headed up to my neighborhood park. Crossing to my park was annoying because so many cars would pass by. I was just listening to my positive affirmations to keep a good headspace and I got to the corner of the block to stop for a red light. All of a sudden, in that moment I stopped, the street went quiet and the traffic light turned red for me. The walk sign clicked to “Walk”. The click was louder than usual. Wow. Right. On. Point. I was clear to cross. That was a lovely day!

11:11 would come up more and more. It means differently depending on your thoughts. I still see it to this day. One thing for sure, it is to guide me to a positive way of life. This is a step into raising my vibration!

Manifesting with The Secret: An attempt

I fell in love with this book. Early in what I call my entrapment, I started to read this book. At the time, I wanted to manifest more money so I can pay off these people and live my life. In secret, I also wanted to manifest love. Little did I know, my mind was not in a manifesting place.

It was in a place of desperation and fear. I was desperate for a solution.

Every time, I saw triple 6, I got a call to go over “my friend’s” place. That meant more talking and more trapping me mentally. Usually, it was after work. Spiritually, triple 6 means out of balance. In my mind, I was thinking more evil is about to happen. I would shiver in fear when I saw triple 6. I still tried manifesting anyway. One day, I broke down in my room. Just thinking, this must be all funny to them. I broke down so hard because I truly believed I was trapped and had no way out. I had no choice but to work two jobs, stay up entertaining them and then eating and sleeping so, I had energy to continue this game of entrapment.

I prayed hard. I prayed in fear so, naturally my prayers were ignored. It was heard though. I had signs I was heard by the spirits.

At the time, I lived near these people and, one day walking to my little room I rented in an apartment, I was heading past a small academy which I never noticed before with the name St. Francis of Assisi. I found a coin right on that block. I started seeing more coins after I saw this.

In Christian history, St. Francis of Assisi was a medieval saint who gave up his wealth for Christianity.

Sometime later, on the same block somewhere, I found a single card from a deck of cards. It was an an 8 of diamonds facing upward on the ground. I was the only one on that block and I looked it up. I know, I read into any message I can get. Sometimes, I sense some clues are messages are for me. Just an intuition thing. I googled 8 of diamonds.

What came out in the google search was also the tarot card, the 8 of swords. I don’t know why but, I looked up the 8 of swords instead. In the traditional tarot deck, it is a women tied up and blindfolded to a wall of swords. The meaning of the card is about believing there is no way out of a situation. It is a limited belief in one’s life. However, if you look closer, there is a way out but, the women in the card can’t see it.

I was baffled by this card. It is straight forward what it means but, all I was thinking was how the hell do I get out of this and have them leave me alone?

I also started seeing feathers.

Instead of manifesting love and money, I was seeing these signs instead. It is a sign the Universe heard me.

I tried manifesting. I lit candles in the “love” corner of my room but, nothing happened.

I followed the advise of the book, The Secret and wrote a check to myself for a million dollars which never happened. In fact, I lost my wallet at work one day and my manager returned it to me. I’m sure she found my check when she looked for ID in my wallet.

So, I stopped doing it these manifesting rituals.

I wasn’t surprised nothing happened because at the time my limited belief was, “I am unlucky”.

I did like seeing these signs though. I felt I was being watched by Angels. I was just angry though, how come I can’t get out? Why am I stuck here in this situation? Somewhere in my mind, I felt it wasn’t my time yet to break out. Maybe another limiting belief?

I felt as if I had to finish my karma and pay back money I borrowed? I did borrow money I just never thought paying back was slavery mentally and physically.

Interesting thing about the manifesting was that some things did work for me when I needed. One point in time, they made demands for more money and somehow, I received a raise. The raise happened again on another time they demanded more money. I felt very blessed! 🙂

One evening after work last year, I found a $50.00 bill on the ground while crossing the street to get to the train station to go home. I’ve found a $10.00 bill before on the ground but never a $50.00 bill!! It made me smile. I even cried a little. It brought me hope. Another rise in vibration!

I guess when it is time Spirit will give you what you need little by little. A bit of hope here and there.

One message did stand out to me which was changing your mindset. If you are not in a manifesting mindset, then nothing will come of it. Well, I had a lot to do then!! Lots of internal work. But, there is hope for me!

My manifesting so far. 2021.

I used to think manifesting was never going to work for me.

In 2014 when I first entered my entrapment situation, I wanted to manifest money so bad.

Universe does not respond to desperation.

However, with hard work and a determined, positive mindset will help you.

At the time I was working at a retail company making minimum wage and wanted to bring in more money. I wanted to also improve myself and where I go career wise. Retail was not working out for me.

I sent out resumes for office jobs and hoped for the best. It was super uncomfortable yet, satisfying. It is okay to be uncomfortable. Do you want to stay put where you are and safe? Or do you want to take a risk?

If it doesn’t work out, I put my foot out there and gave it a try. Of course there will be doubts. But, the Universe takes the amount of energy you send out the most. I was trying to be positive and I felt so good just sending out resumes.

Universe understood because I got a call for an interview. I always get excited because it is a higher chance of getting hired. It is the next step. It was better than where I was at my job.

Do note here that I am not comfortable at taking risks. I take a long time to make a move because I feel so scared. However, the pros outweighs the cons and I went for it.

I got the job after one interview. I was thankful. I didn’t stay at that job too long because the demands were too high. I ended up going back to my old job and continued interviewing.

Disappointing but, I did try it out. It is always nerve-wrecking trying out new things. Am I going to mess it up? My fears keeps me stuck in a low vibration.

That time was amazing for me because of the changes I made in my life. I eventually went on to an office job that I hated but, I ended up doing for 5 years. After that, I moved onto another office job.

I ended up losing that job when New York first started coming out of Quarantine in May of last year. I am thankful being let go because I didn’t like my new boss. I was so miserable. Rejection is God’s protection. I do believe that!

My roommate just got a job offer for higher pay and a better position with room for advancement in his future. Kudos!! He is psyched that his energy has spread to me! It is contagious! I am so happy just because of that energy I feel from him! I will not compare myself to his situation. He has been looking for this transition for a long time coming. It is his wish come true!

Comparison doesn’t work. It is not your path. Everyone has their own timing. Right now, I would say I am in the middle of a career transition. Not sure, where I will go from here.

I love the peace that I have. Although, I do not like the feeling of being stuck because I feel like I am not moving anywhere(see the contrast after I wrote, I love the peace I have but…Universe reads that. Keep positive, self!).

But, Spirituality teaches to be in the moment. Do not look in the past. Do not look into your future.

There is a reason why you are where you are. You are in the right place in time.

I slaved 6 years mentally, physically and emotionally for those people and I had a year so far to make up for lost time. I am looking forward to more better things to make up for all I lost. I am smiling right now as I type this because it feels so good! I prayed to be released for a long time. I manifested this. Here I am.

I am going to embrace this!!!

Thank you for reading.