Sunday Morning

Summer feeling morning!

Still lost…


I wanted to write about this before. Actually, the day after my last post which was my mother’s day post. Even though I have gone backwards into my negativity, I still see if I have a spark of the law of attraction in me. I happily asked for the Universe for something free. I can do free coffee but I already get free coffee with my dunkin app. So, I asked the Universe, “surprise me because I dont know what I need that can be free”.

Later on that day, I saw my parents for dinner. My mother presented to me a free $20 metrocard to use for public transportation. She received it but she doesn’t use public transportation as much as I do so, she gave it to me.

Wow! The law of attraction is always there.

I just never stay in a positive mode. (Add on: In order to attract more good to you, you have to be in positive mode. You have to be in state of openness which means be open to receiving good.)

A toxic work environment. My mom’s illness. Doing poorly in school but, I am still going to try. Just things just do not work out. All these things plus all the negative stuff going on in the world just keeps me down.

I am trying to reframe my mind.

I am fortunate enough to be able to listen to podcasts while I work. I am trying to reframe my mind but honestly, my powerful negative mind is constantly taking over. It’s a major battle in my head and sometimes, I do get sick of my own mindset.

Why did I allow myself come so far in this negativity? 

If I can reframe my mind and stick to it consistently, maybe I can find some resolution to my issues. Or maybe find a whole new path. I am looking for a better situation yet, I keep myself stuck where I am. 

How come? 

With the end of my semester coming to a close soon. I feel lighter and more free to be honest to go back to my spiritual practice. It’s tough because my surroundings are not helpful to my practice so my internal talk just follows my outside or external influences. This is a lesson in itself.

How do you practice self-love and protect my energy when the external forces brings these bad emotions? These emotions causes these bad thoughts that brings me down.

I am treated poorly lately by those around me. I also get into some negative situations which tells me how my internal world affects my external.

Sometimes, I have decent energy only if I am in the positive mode. I receive positivity back only  if my internal talk is good. My internal world. 

This acknowledgement allows me to revisit my internal world. It signals my brain, “it’s going back again. Your getting negative.” 

I’m trying to remind myself that life shouldn’t be only about my internal world. I believe the negative internal world brought my mom to this mental illness. 

I was embarrassed to name what she has but, here goes: 

She has schizophrenia with delusions. 

She is currently in her own battle. She had a hard life when I was growing up and it angers me that now she is at a comfortable place where she can be free and happy, a mental illness takes that away from her. 

She refuses to leave the house almost as if she is ashamed. She refuses to acknowledge that she has an illness. A denial I seen throughout my life. She always denied so many things. That angers me to. If you do not face things, then how do you overcome them? 

I took advantage this morning to take a walk. Get my energy flowing with nature. Just to help me walk off some frustrations. It feels great! I saw this word, “lost” and it made me think. Here I am writing about it. 

I am still on my quest in life using the law of attraction. My internal world still needs major work in order for my life to change. I haven’t had the energy to push myself outside my comfort zone. I am extremely stubborn. It’s also the reason why my life remains at a plateau. 

If only I can shove myself to start something. Just to leave my comfort zone. 

Thanks for reading! 

Good signs from the Universe


My life is not exactly put together but, something I am doing is working well. 

In the afternoon, I decided to go out for some light grocery shopping. I just wanted some fresh fruits to add to my day. As I leave the house, I feel the beauty of the day and almost walk past a stack of cash on the ground two houses away from my home. I pick it up! 

It is perfect! It’s just amazing timing! I didn’t even look at the cash. I just took it with me to the grocery and at the cashier, I open the rolled stack and there was $14. It’s a beautiful thing because my total came up to just under $13. It’s almost as if the Universe provided it for me and knew the right amount to send me.

I do know magical things happen all the time.   

Or 

Is it just my lucky day? Depends on perspective. I like to see it as a sign from the Universe! 

The Universe knows I need a whole lot of miracles. Of course I have to work on myself as I receive these miracles. I do not expect things to be provided for me. In fact, I’ve always had to work harder for something as someone else would have it easier. It is only recently, I decided to change my thought. 

I wanted to train myself to think that life can be easy. 

Coming back from deeply low emotions for two weeks, brought me new found positivity. I am not even sure where I am getting this feeling of hope from. I just tell myself that I can’t give up on myself. I seek better for me because I am worthy of it. I am so fortunate to have more than the less fortunate. I should train myself to be happier. 

There are people in poor countries living with trash sent over from other countries including the one I live in. Yet, they find happiness! That is true wealth! Living within your means and enjoying life. There is only one life! Worry when you need to but, be happy as often as you can!  Beauty in life is how you make it! Artists constantly make beauty out of nothing. So, anyone can train themselves to create a life of happiness. 

I have returned to decluttering. I sadly admit to shopping again since discovering thredup. I decided to edit and remove any excess that I have. I am currently training myself to be happy with what I already own. I constantly go back to thinking a purchase will make me happy. Absolutely not. I have items in my wardrobe now that doesn’t go with the theme I created last year for my clothes. I just wanted to buy it. 

I am relearning to be more thoughtful of what I bring in. 

My anxiety has increased again, so I resort to my old habits to ease myself. It actually does the opposite. I start to have buyers remorse again which is the main reason I originally decided to declutter last year. Upon realizing this, I jumped into editing myself. I have to examine myself. I see that going back to my old habits causes more anxiety. The opposite of what I wanted. It’s a constant thing to keep awareness of your own habits. Is it helping? Or is it hurting?

Going back to decluttering feels great! It feels like some weight lifted off me. I strive to be happy as I am. At this moment, my internal self is incomplete. This is the cause of my unhappiness. 

On the other hand, I continue my hopeful purchases to increase my intention for a job interview. I updated my interview outfit for the just in case moment. I bought a nice work blazer from the thrift store. It fits perfectly! I had to get it. I updated my interview shoes. I am just showing the Universe I am still interested in the right job when the opportunity arrives. 

As I continue to battle my anxiety, I seek ways to change my thinking. I live near green space so, I constantly seek wisdom from the grass and trees. It is fall here and the colors of the leaves are gorgeous. The beauty in nature just redirects my negative focus to something better. It’s not exactly positive but, I shifted my thinking. That is a great start. 

Continue with the good work. Here’s my simple, quick list:

  1. being hopeful
  2. Actions with positive intention
  3. Shifting out of the negative loop
  4. My gratitude and affirmations
  5. Believe that you will be provided for as you seek what you are seeking

Signs from the Universe gives me more motivation to keep on doing what I am doing. 

Believe that all will be okay. Continue with positive actions. This pandemic has created challenges to our modern lives but, we are resilient people! We have survived the Black Plague, the Spanish flu, Ebola, World Wars, etc. Live in love and please ❤️ the beautiful Earth ✌🏻

Thanks for reading! I seek to help others as I help myself. So many people are battling anxiety, stress and worry about their futures. Seek happiness in now. I think this pandemic is an excellent way to slow down and be mindful. People are in a rush to go back to the hussle of everyday modern life. I think many are starting to see our modern lives are not exactly the most comfortable way of life. So much modern life yet we work under so much pressure to have it. We spend more time at work than we do at home. It’s tough changing a mindset but it can be done. Your life is how you see it. If you can change that negative thought, your life will change. This is my aim to begin my day with this thought. 

Believing in myself is a form of self-love

Nature walk this morning


Keeping myself moving this morning. This weekend was a long one with lots of rain from Hurricane Henri. Thankfully, my part of town wasn’t severely affected.

I am trying to keep my walking consistent. And honestly, my body starts to feel uncomfortable when I am not active. And a walk gets yourself out of your head for a while. This is great for my anxiety.

I am keeping positive as I work on my current goals. I am definitely moving in a positive direction with my mindset. Always remember that things may not align for you. You have to go for it. Thinking of an idea is only an idea until you muster up the courage to go for that goal. Sometimes things fall in line once you do that. It may not be what you are destined for but it is a destination. It is a goal to move toward.

I am starting to understand that better now. Especially with using the Law of Attraction. You can create a vision board but that vision board will just stay an art project until you list out goals to accomplish.

-Have a vision. A vision board. I have a digital vision board. It’s filled with short term and long term goals. I adjust my board as I add new goals. You can even add positive images to uplift your mood.

-List out the goals you are looking forward to achieving based on your vision board. They can be a combination of short term or long term goals. Do not worry about being able to achieve them. Just make a list. You can access what is doable and not later.

-Create an action plan for the smallest goals. The smallest goals can take time. I realized that even small goals do not take 3 days or a week to accomplish. Short goals can take 3 months, 6 months. Patience is key.

-Create an action plan for the longer goals. Even if you are not sure if you can achieve them. This is something you can always come back to down the line. But it’s nice to have it written so you see this goal is something you want to accomplish. Sometimes a nice visual list can assist you in creating your vision if that makes sense. You can do it in your head. However, writing it down makes it feel certain on paper. Your mind processes it as “okay, so this is what I have to do”. I do not make a list but, I write about my goals in my journal. I do it this way because I need to process if this is something I can achieve and all that. I know, I should believe in myself more! This is how I brainstorm.

Long acting goals can be set aside unless you are confident you can achieve it. Then you can add a timeline. If you are not sure if you can achieve these goals. Create shorter ones that help you achieve the longer goals. I am currently working on that now. I am not sure if I’ll get to where I need to go. But I am setting a course of action to get there.

-Action. Start acting on short goals. These are easily to obtain so you start making your move based on your plan. And sometimes things do not work out. All plans are adjustable.

  • Believe in yourself – trusting yourself to achieve what you want to accomplish is a great form of self-love. You want better for yourself. Believe that you can do it. Keep pushing and if the plan doesn’t work out. It can go out of plan and if that is so, than make a plan B. Sometimes, you may have to create another plan as you go. But you stay the course to your goal.

  • another way of showing belief in yourself and in your goals is to act as if you achieved it. Believe that it is possible! For example, If you are thinking about being employed again, create an interview outfit. How would you dress to impress. Make a work bag full of essentials for when you do have to go into the office. Have your work bag ready with your needs so you are set at work. Believe that you will have a job. In the meantime, send out resumes. If one job doesn’t work out, keep sending it. Even if you have to send it out 50 times. This example may be a bit too much but, it’s acting as if you have the goal is what helps you realize the achievement. And maybe in a unexpected moment you may get a call.

-Push yourself and do not give up. It’s always tough but staying in your comfort zone is not going to take you anywhere. Do not be afraid to be uncomfortable. I noticed the what seems so simple is not so simple. With enough consistency, you can get through it. Plus a high amount of patience. If you get frustrated, step back. Take a break. Watch a funny video. When you are ready. Start again.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

I am currently working on believing in myself. This is a new thing because I never did believe in myself. Constantly thinking I can’t “do this”. Sulking in “I can’t do that”. It didn’t lead to anything. Only more heart break. I am slowly shifting out of that.

The Law of Attraction is not exactly as they say it is. In reality it is patience and consistency that leads to where you want to go. Things do not just appear. It is a series of actions that create the end result. Although, the law of attraction is still what it is. If you believe in it, it will be done. Everyday I am constantly learning about the law of attraction and how it applies to my daily life. I am continuing to learn.