Manifesting troubles

A few months ago, when I first started this position I have now, I thought I landed something amazing. Eventually, my rose-colored glasses cracked then I saw how toxic of a place I was in. In fact, I am lucky because I can tell this company used to be a lot worse. This company has a revolving door where too many people left this place!

I am fortunate to have a job! I try to remind myself this! Although on the bad days, I forget about this gift of a job I have!

On the good days, I forget about my bad manager. And the things I want to complain about are about my manager! He is H.R.! How ironic! Everyone at work thinks I’m an idiot. They are mean and if you show that you learn slowly, they refuse to teach you. I can’t express myself to anyone at the company because some of them are double-crossing co-workers, and they dislike me. I work in a place full of females where they try to keep the catty behavior down. Only because I expressed how I wanted to leave after witnessing catty behavior.

I just want to work in a company where training is done properly, my manager doesn’t talk down to me when he himself doesn’t know how to communicate with people, well, let me not get too much into it. I read some Reddit postings about some crappy job situations and I am thankful I am not in there. I wouldn’t handle a place to that degree! Even this mild toxic workplace compared to people’s stories I have a hard time to handle.

I personally think they are trying to get me to quit on my own. I am working on that. That means dealing with the way my manager speaks to me when he’s the idiot for many more days. Too many days already if you ask me. And dealing with people speaking about how dumb I am. This company doesn’t fulfill what I seek in a position.

The operations manager who I grown to dislike because she was the one to trick me into thinking this company cares and there are some great perks I will be getting along with some great people in this company. All lies! When she backs off and not involve herself in situations the management do whatever they want which is the opposite of what she says.

Dislike!

I wanted to stay until the middle of next year before taking more college credits as I am currently in school to complete my degree.

I am uncertain of how I can get to that goal.

I feel stuck.

My manifestation of a job came true however, I attracted a position that is toxic.

I am currently trying to re-center myself before going back to manifesting.

I have gotten depressed. And afraid to find a job should I find another toxic company. I had so many toxic companies or companies that rather work me as a work horse rather than see me grow.

I am no longer interested in that. I have a new direction I am going for. Of course the ideal is great job and benefits with loads of paid time off, a job that respects time off since I do need to recharge periodically. I am seeking management that is encouraging and cares for my progress instead of treat me like a slave.

I wanted to quit this weekend. I have been calling out a lot because so have so much discomfort with this company. My current thinking is leaving at my time due to the bad economy and not when they want me to leave. Let’s see if I can make that come true. I am running out of patience with this company. I have been with this company about 7 months now.